Core Scripture
“And so I was provoked (displeased and sorely grieved) with that generation, and said, They always err and are led astray in their hearts, and they have not perceived or recognized My ways…” — Hebrews 3:10, AMPC
Have you ever thought about what your rebellion actually costs God? Not in punishment, but in grief? This teaching looks at what it means to grieve the heart of a Father who loves us — and challenges us with the story of Jonah, someone who received God’s mercy but begrudged it for someone else. It closes where it should: in thanksgiving for a love that endures forever.
Jeremiah 4:22
Amplified Bible
“For My people are stupid and foolish,” [says the Lord to Jeremiah];
“They do not know Me;
They are foolish children
And have no understanding.
They are shrewd [enough] to do evil,
But they do not know [how] to do good.”
1 Corinthians 14:20
Amplified Bible
Brothers and sisters, do not be children [immature, childlike] in your thinking; be infants in [matters of] evil [completely innocent and inexperienced], but in your minds be mature [adults].
2 Thessalonians 2:10
Amplified Bible
and by unlimited seduction to evil and with all the deception of wickedness for those who are perishing, because they did not welcome the love of the truth [of the gospel] so as to be saved [they were spiritually blind, and rejected the truth that would have saved them].
Do you ever feel frustrated when a younger person does not hear you, when they don’t take your advice, or when a child, your child, does not listen to you? Do you ever feel angered, exasperated, or annoyed when your child does the exact opposite of what you told them to do, or advised them to do? Now, imagine how God feels when we do those things to Him! Imagine the frustration, the grief, the disappointment involved when we do the same thing over and over again. Imagine the frustration when we ask for help and for His guidance, only to turn around and do what we want anyway, regardless of the direction He was leading us.
Think about the sorrow that is felt when we turn away, when we don’t believe that He knows what is best, or when we put ourselves first, serve only ourselves, and not Him. Think about that grief for a moment.
Last time we met, I talked about how God was like a parent, and we were like the teenagers, rebelling against Him and His ways. As we continue in the Hardened Heart series, digging into Hebrews 3:7-19, I repeat that same theme here.
Again, He is like the parent, and we are like the children, like the children who exasperate us sometimes.
Hebrews 3:7-19
English Standard Version
A Rest for the People of God
Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says,
“Today, if you hear his voice,
8 do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion,
on the day of testing in the wilderness,
9 where your fathers put me to the test
and saw my works for forty years.
10 Therefore I was provoked with that generation,
and said, ‘They always go astray in their heart;
they have not known my ways.’
11 As I swore in my wrath,
‘They shall not enter my rest.’”
12 Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. 13 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 14 For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. 15 As it is said,
“Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”
16 For who were those who heard and yet rebelled? Was it not all those who left Egypt led by Moses? 17 And with whom was he provoked for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose bodies fell in the wilderness? 18 And to whom did he swear that they would not enter his rest, but to those who were disobedient? 19 So we see that they were unable to enter because of unbelief.
With a focus on v. 9, 10, and 17.
Hebrews 3:9-10
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
Where your fathers tried [My patience] and tested [My forbearance] and found I stood their test, and they saw My works for forty years.
10 And so I was provoked (displeased and sorely grieved) with that generation, and said, They always err and are led astray in their hearts, and they have not perceived or recognized My ways and become progressively better and more experimentally and intimately acquainted with them.
Hebrews 3:17
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
And with whom was He irritated and provoked and grieved for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose dismembered bodies were strewn and left in the desert?
Have you ever thought about how you grieve God? Have you ever thought about how we as humans grieve God? Thought about our actions, our words, our deeds that grieve Him? How often have you walked away from God? Turned your back on where He was leading you? What about trusting Him? How often have you been in a rush for something to happen and just jumped the gun, going ahead of Him? How often have you rationalized things so that it fits your wants? Your desires?
Now, how often have you felt a lack of peace in these decisions? How often have you felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit leading you the other way, asking you to remain patient, to just wait, to be still? When you look back, how many of those times did you realize that you disregarded God in your decisions, that you disregarded God’s laws and precepts, disregarded His wants and desires for you? That you disregarded your relationship with him?
How many times could you relate more to Jonah than to Jesus?
Jonah 1:1-3
Amplified Bible
Jonah’s Disobedience
Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, 2 “Go to Nineveh, that great city, and proclaim [judgment] against it, for their wickedness has come up before Me.” 3 But Jonah ran away to Tarshish to escape from the presence of the Lord [and his duty as His prophet]. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish [the most remote of the Phoenician trading cities]. So he paid the fare and went down into the ship to go with them to Tarshish away from the presence of the Lord.
How many times in your life have you run away from God in some way? How many times did you try to hide from Him? Hide what you were doing? Hide where you were going? And thinking about Jonah still, how many times did you feel that God was wrong? How many times did you truly believe He was?
Jonah 3:10-4:4
Amplified Bible
When God saw their deeds, that they turned from their wicked way, then God [had compassion and] relented concerning the disaster which He had declared that He would bring upon them. And He did not do it.
Jonah’s Displeasure Rebuked
4 But it greatly displeased Jonah and he became angry. 2 He prayed to the Lord and said, “O Lord, is this not what I said when I was still in my country? That is why I ran to Tarshish, because I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and great in lovingkindness, and [when sinners turn to You] You revoke the [sentence of] disaster [against them]. 3 Therefore now, O Lord, just take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.” 4 Then the Lord said, “Do you have a good reason to be angry?”
Jonah 4:11
Amplified Bible
Should I not have compassion on Nineveh, the great city in which there are more than 120,000 [innocent] persons, who do not know the difference between their right and left hand [and are not yet accountable for sin], as well as many [blameless] animals?”
Yet, like Jonah, how often do we cry out in repentance, cry out for help, cry out to God for His relief when we are going through things? How often do we get ourselves in trouble, usually by disregarding God in the first place, and then turn around and seek His assistance?
Are we not like children after all?
Jonah knew God had compassion; he saw God’s compassion in his own life, yet begrudged other people that same compassion. I think that’s another instance of being like Jonah, too. How often have we felt that same way? Begrudged God’s blessings in other people’s lives, begrudged their forgiveness, begrudged the favor they received? How often have we had hardened hearts towards other people? Hardened our hearts towards God’s people? For that matter, how often have we compared ourselves and our lives to others? Compared our journeys with others? Compared where we were or where we are with God to where others are or seemed to be?
Comparison is indeed the thief of joy and one way in which Satan gets in between us and our relationship with others and, most importantly, our relationship with God. When we start comparing ourselves to others, we are comparing ourselves only to our perspective of their lives. Does anyone but God fully know your life? Is your life fully visible to other people for them to witness? No?! So how can we possibly compare ourselves to them, if we do not know the full picture to begin with? I go back to our limited perspective problem.
I think this is partially why we are told over and over again in Scripture to care about and care for others. We see examples of the hardened hearts people can have toward others, and how that, too, grieved God.
Matthew 19:8
Amplified Bible
He said to them, “Because your hearts were hard and stubborn Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.
Matthew 18:33-35
Amplified Bible
Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave [who owed you little by comparison], as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in wrath his master turned him over to the torturers (jailers) until he paid all that he owed. 35 My heavenly Father will also do the same to [every one of] you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”
1 John 3:17
Amplified Bible
But whoever has the world’s goods (adequate resources), and sees his brother in need, but has no compassion for him, how does the love of God live in him?
Jesus even states it as one of the commandments that He gives.
Matthew 22:37-40
Amplified Bible
And Jesus replied to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for others].’ 40 The whole Law and the [writings of the] Prophets depend on these two commandments.”
How hardened is your heart towards others? Do you find it hard to empathize with people? Do you feel compassion? Are you able to sympathize with people? Are you able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when they are going through something? Do you keep to yourself and steer clear of others? Do you prefer to be alone and help yourself rather than help others? What exactly is your view of other people when they are hurting or struggling? Sometimes we can be so hurt by someone that we transfer that to several people. Sometimes because of that hurt, we don’t want to help someone else. Sometimes because of trauma done by others, we avoid people. We avoid helping them, we avoid feeling for them, we avoid everything. We harden our hearts towards people in the process.
I have slowly come to realize that I am sometimes much more like the Pharisees than I would like. Jesus was vexed and irritated at how the Pharisees treated people. He was frustrated by their hardened hearts towards people.
Mark 3:5
Amplified Bible
After looking around at them with anger, grieved at the hardness and arrogance of their hearts, He told the man, “Hold out your hand.” And he held it out, and his hand was [completely] restored.
They were so focused on themselves and the laws they created, focused on the laws as they interpreted them to be, that they refused to allow someone to receive help, to receive healing on the Sabbath.
So how often are we grieving God through the way we treat other people? How often are we grieving God by how we treat ourselves? And how often are we grieving God because we are walking away from Him, we are walking in disobedience, or we are doing what we want instead? Have you noticed a theme with having a hardened heart? Something that helps to create those calcified pieces? The focus is always on us. It is on the self. Hardened hearts are typically the result of pride.
Daniel 5:20
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
But when his heart was lifted up and his mind and spirit were hardened so that he dealt proudly, he was deposed from his kingly throne and his glory was taken from him;
When our hearts are hardened towards people, when they are hardened towards God, when they are hardened towards any sort of law, it is because pride has made its way into our hearts. Remember this, as we will continue this discussion the next time we meet as we finish out this series.
So how do we start to have a softened heart towards people? We pray and ask God for help with it. We ask Him to open our hearts towards them. To see His people the way that He sees them. Ask to receive empathy.
Once we have empathy, we can maybe even begin to feel some towards God Himself. I asked previously if you thought about God grieving over you. What comes to mind when you think of that? What comes to mind when you think of someone grieving in general? Does your heart hurt for them? Or does it mean nothing to you? Sometimes when we know someone is hurting, our hearts tend to hurt for them. We empathize with them. This is the state our hearts are in that leads us to treat others with compassion, with kindness, with mercy, and with love. I am not saying that people can walk all over you. We must have boundaries. We can have boundaries and still care about people.
When our hearts hurt for someone, we tend to want to relieve their pain.
So do you feel that way towards God? Do you want to relieve that grief that He may feel over your hardened heart? Relieve that sorrow that He has because you walked away from Him? Relieve the frustration of disregarding Him? Of walking in arrogant indifference to Him and His laws?
Or do you want to please God? How often do you want to please God? Think about pleasing God? Do you ever stop and think, what can I do that will please God? I can honestly say that is not something I would have thought about a few years ago. Maybe even something I don’t think of nearly as often as I should now. But when you love someone, you want to please them. The two things go hand in hand.
There is no room for pride when we want to please God. We automatically humble ourselves when we want to serve Him, when we want to please Him.
Colossians 1:10
Amplified Bible
so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord [displaying admirable character, moral courage, and personal integrity], to [fully] please Him in all things, bearing fruit in every good work and steadily growing in the knowledge of God [with deeper faith, clearer insight and fervent love for His precepts];
Psalm 147:11
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
The Lord takes pleasure in those who reverently and worshipfully fear Him, in those who hope in His mercy and loving-kindness.
Micah 6:8
Amplified Bible
He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
Except to be just, and to love [and to diligently practice] kindness (compassion),
And to walk humbly with your God [setting aside any overblown sense of importance or self-righteousness]?
Those are all great reminders of what it is to please the Lord and how. I especially like that last one.
What does God require of us? What does God require of you? He is pleased when we are just, when we are walking in righteousness, with integrity and honesty, and when we are walking in and with compassion. Hard to walk in these things if there is self-righteousness or pride. So we learn to be humble. We lay ourselves down to serve God. These things also create a soft heart rather than a calcified heart. It is a heart that remains pliable in doing the Lord’s will and soft towards others. So like the questions we started out with today… How often do you set yourself aside to do what God requires of you? How often do you die to the self to step out and serve, both God and others? How often do you allow God into your heart? Allow Him to speak to you, to lead you, to guide you, to reveal Himself to you? How often, as Micah states, do you walk humbly with your God? How often do you set aside any sense of self-importance? How often do you live and walk as though it is your righteousness that has saved you and not Jesus’ righteousness? How often have you walked in unforgiveness? Holding grudges? And doing so with God? How often do you hope in the Lord and accept His mercy and lovingkindness? Do you even have hope in the Lord? Are you able to accept His mercy and lovingkindness? Or do you feel everything in life is up to you and you alone? There is no “I” in a relationship. A relationship takes at least two. If our focus is on ourselves, we leave no room for the other person in the relationship. If our focus is on ourselves, there is no room to please God. Or are we pleasing God so that we can get something in return? Are we looking for a reward? Paul reminds us over and over again to look to God, to keep our eyes on Him and all that comes from above. I honestly think that is something we should remind ourselves of regularly. When we look to Him and all that comes from Him, we can see Him in our lives so much more. We can have a clearer picture of His working in our lives. I can honestly tell you that I am where I am today because of God. It is because of His grace, His love, and His mercy that I am able to share with you today. And I believe the same is true for you. It is because of His grace, His love, and His mercy that you are here today. Have you thanked God for that lately? Thank Him for where you are? Thanked Him for what He brought you through? Thanked Him for what He is currently bringing you through? That is keeping our eyes on Him; that is keeping our hearts soft, supple, and flexible. Do you love God?
Jesus says that if we love Him, we will be obedient; we will want to obey.
John 14:15
Amplified Bible
“If you [really] love Me, you will keep and obey My commandments.
John 14:21
Amplified Bible
The person who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who [really] loves Me; and whoever [really] loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and reveal Myself to him [I will make Myself real to him].”
John 14:23
Amplified Bible
Jesus answered, “If anyone [really] loves Me, he will keep My word (teaching); and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our dwelling place with him.
How important is this that Jesus states it three times in the same conversation? I think this is something we must pay attention to.
If we love Him, we will keep His word, His teachings, His commandments, and we will obey them. It will become a part of who we are, not just remain Head knowledge.
And did you catch that if we do these things, we are loved by Him, and He will make Himself known to us, make Himself real to us!
Are God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit real to you? Or are they some abstract thing you can’t quite grasp? Jesus said He would make Himself real to you! We must have a supple heart to receive the revelation He brings. In fact, this heart attitude ties perfectly into our discussion on pride—which is exactly where we will pick up next time.
In the meantime, really sit with the Lord and ask yourself — and ask Him — if He is truly real to you, if the Trinity is real to you. Let that honest reflection shape your steps, helping you become more like Jesus and less like Jonah.
John 4:34
Amplified Bible
Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to completely finish His work.
John 5:30
Amplified Bible
“I can do nothing on my own initiative or authority. Just as I hear, I judge; and My judgment is just (fair, righteous, unbiased), because I do not seek My own will, but only the will of Him who sent Me.
John 8:29
Amplified Bible
And He who sent Me is [always] with Me; He has not left Me alone, because I always do what pleases Him.”
John 8:49
Amplified Bible
Jesus answered, “I do not have a demon. On the contrary, I honor My Father, and you dishonor Me.
Thank God that we serve a loving, merciful, and gracious God. One who is love and loves us unconditionally. Loving us no matter how many times we mess up or walk away. Loving us so much that He sent His son to die on the cross, to take our place for the penalty of our sins. A God who loves us and continues to draw us close to Him! What an amazing God He is!
Psalm 136
Amplified Bible
Thanks for the Lord’s Goodness to Israel.
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
For His lovingkindness (graciousness, mercy, compassion) endures forever.
2 Give thanks to the God of gods,
For His lovingkindness endures forever.
3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords,
For His lovingkindness endures forever.
4 To Him who alone does great wonders,
For His lovingkindness endures forever;
5 To Him who made the heavens with skill,
For His lovingkindness endures forever;
6 To Him who stretched out the earth upon the waters,
For His lovingkindness endures forever;
7 To Him who made the great lights,
For His lovingkindness endures forever;
8 The sun to rule over the day,
For His lovingkindness endures forever;
9 The moon and stars to rule by night,
For His lovingkindness endures forever;
…
23 Who [faithfully] remembered us in our lowly condition,
For His lovingkindness endures forever;
24 And has rescued us from our enemies,
For His lovingkindness endures forever;
25 Who gives food to all flesh,
For His lovingkindness endures forever;
26 Give thanks to the God of heaven,
For His lovingkindness (graciousness, mercy, compassion) endures forever.
Reflection Questions
- Have you ever thought about your rebellion as something that grieves God, not just something that breaks a rule?
- Do you relate more to Jonah — begrudging mercy for someone else — or to the mercy Jesus extends freely?
- Is there someone you’ve withheld grace from, the same grace God has extended to you?
- Does comparison ever steal your joy or harden your heart toward what God is doing in someone else’s life?
- Pray: “Lord, thank You for Your lovingkindness that never fails. Soften my heart toward You and toward others.”
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